Renting to Family
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Renting to Family (by Tex [TX]) May 15, 2018 7:15 AM
       Renting to Family (by S i d [MO]) May 15, 2018 7:25 AM
       Renting to Family (by Nicole [PA]) May 15, 2018 7:35 AM
       Renting to Family (by rentON [PA]) May 15, 2018 7:50 AM
       Renting to Family (by Doogie [KS]) May 15, 2018 8:10 AM
       Renting to Family (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) May 15, 2018 8:22 AM
       Renting to Family (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) May 15, 2018 8:26 AM
       Renting to Family (by LindaJ [NY]) May 15, 2018 8:28 AM
       Renting to Family (by RB [MI]) May 15, 2018 9:14 AM
       Renting to Family (by Robert J [CA]) May 15, 2018 9:16 AM
       Renting to Family (by GKARL [PA]) May 15, 2018 12:34 PM
       Renting to Family (by WMH [NC]) May 15, 2018 1:45 PM
       Renting to Family (by Annie [IN]) May 15, 2018 6:28 PM
       Renting to Family (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) May 15, 2018 8:33 PM
       Renting to Family (by Tex [TX]) May 16, 2018 6:28 AM
       Renting to Family (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) May 16, 2018 8:17 PM
       Renting to Family (by Tex [TX]) May 17, 2018 8:48 AM
       Renting to Family (by Nicole [PA]) May 17, 2018 9:26 AM
       Renting to Family (by GKARL [PA]) May 17, 2018 11:50 AM

Renting to Family (by Tex [TX]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 7:15 AM

So I posted about a year ago to date my last purchase that I was going to assists my sister. Somehow I I knew this would not turn out will and was warned but I went ahead did just that. One of her sons who wants to play business man with what most f us would call a hobby. Will recently sold a house which he should have never brought and decided to move his family into my house. Yes the house that originally purchased hoping help sister. Will hes my son she says.

I was letting her stay in my unit for $600 mth fully loaded, now this kid moved in with his family I jacked the rent up to $1200 with no tolerance. Im so pissed....They didn't even ask me for permission or what thought. That kid never even came to the house until it was done and his mother was in. Whats been your experience?

Renting to Family (by S i d [MO]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 7:25 AM

My experience, thankfully, has been better because I have never rented to family directly. The closets I came is my uncle's niece (not my's his brother's kid) needed a place, and since our branch of the family doesn't intersect with hers at family gatherings or in any social or other business environment, I considered it far enough removed to go ahead with it as a normal tenancy. A few minor hiccups so far, but nothing like what you've had. I don't worry about booting her if it ever comes to it.

Since we already beat you up for this last year and now you've seen the results we warned about, I suppose there's no need to do it again. Experience is a powerful teacher. Next time, you'll do say what most of us say: "NOPE!"


Renting to Family (by Nicole [PA]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 7:35 AM

I'm not seeing the problem here other than your feelings are hurt.

First, did you set the rules and limits with her initially or just move her in and assume she knew what you were thinking?

Second, you've doubled your rent amount ... why do you care that her son and his family are there?

I'm one who does rent to family successfully. It is all about communication and setting upfront rules.

Renting to Family (by rentON [PA]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 7:50 AM

Are they paying the $1,200 rent? If they are paying it then I don't understand what you're mad about? Keep smiling all the way to the bank. You need to pick and choose your battles. What did you expect when renting to family? --67.165.xx.xx

Renting to Family (by Doogie [KS]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 8:10 AM

One of my cardinal rules is "Don't rent to friends or family." I've had them ask before, but I've always said no. I explain that it never turns out good and they've always agreed. Only had one that got even remotely upset about it, but they got over it pretty quickly. That person was related to the ex, not me. So, I don't have to deal with them anymore anyway now. Haha!

Hopefully everything works out for you. Sounds like it could be a touchy situation.

Renting to Family (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 8:22 AM

Of course OP is irritated. Most of us don't allow our tenants to move in additional families without permission. There is no reason that relatives must receive preferential treatment about subletting.

You don't have a lot of options. Kick everybody out and let them form their combined household in someone else's rental or grit your teeth and put up with it.

Renting to Family (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 8:26 AM

The way to best control this situation got bypassed about a year ago. Now all available are patches, and probably some hurt feelings.

Renting to Family (by LindaJ [NY]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 8:28 AM

One thing we all have to get over, as LL, is our hurt feelings. It is a business. You need to keep your emotions out of it.

I agree with Nicole, did you set rules and write them down? But now, forget being helpful, put the emotions aside. You raised the rent, I assume that is closer to market value. If they don't pay, evict, if they do pay, rent on, consider it a business effort and not helping family. Raise the rent as needed to cover your expenses, do inspections regularly so if things are really getting wrecked in there you can evict. Take your money to the bank, but be ready to hear how you are taking advantage of them charging them so high a rent. Don't let that hurt you, just tell them to go elsewhere if they feel that way.

Renting to Family (by RB [MI]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 9:14 AM

There's a Formula for renting to Family or Friends.

Follow your written policies as you would with any other

Qualified Applicant, only with Less Tolerance, and on a Shorter Leash,

with Higher Rents.

Have an Escape Plan and be prepared to execute.

It can be done, but only Hardcore Landlords should even

attempt this.

This is Not a program for the Timid.

Get your problem Tenants out now and move forward.

This aint no Country Club.


Renting to Family (by Robert J [CA]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 9:16 AM

When my friends in-laws were in trouble, they lost their family home because of the mortgage meltdown years ago, he allowed them to live in one of his rentals at a greatly reduced rent (half the going rate).

One day my friend came in the back door, dirty from working on a rental and didn't want to be late to a family dinner. He overheard his in-laws saying not so nice things about him. What made things worse is that is wife didn't defend him.

Hurt and insulted he issued a 30 day notice, a rent increase. Not to market but a fair rent for family members. When asked why he would do such a thing to his family, he responded with the truth. He wasn't appreciated, never thanked and instead insulted and be-little'd.

Do a favor for relatives, you expect them to behave. Not to adopt pets, allow others to move in and to take care of the property as if it was their home. --47.156.xx.xx

Renting to Family (by GKARL [PA]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 12:34 PM

No business with friends and family if you expect to keep them as such. If it were me asking for a favor, I'd be on p's and q's trying to bend over backwards not to cause a problem. Unfortunately, most will view you as the tenants view you; a way to get a free ride because you're "rich". Personally, I just avoid it or if you're going to do it, set the rules and keep it short -term (i.e. six months and out).

Renting to Family (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 1:45 PM

I would rent to any of my kids, I would rent to at least one granddaughter (the other one is too young to know about yet - age 13) and certainly to my sister, at least one of my brothers, and probably all of my nieces and nephews.

But none of them would need for me to rent to them unless disaster struck, because they are all financially responsible. But if disaster did strike, they wouldn't change their spots and I would still rent to them.

As Brad20k says, "Gotta know your judge!" In this case, gotta know your family!

My oldest son has a ne'er do well step-daughter. Nope. However he also has an amazing stepson. Yep.

I get the hard and fast rule of "No Friends, No Family" but rules are meant to be broken.

I just remembered we loaned an entire second MORTGAGE to a friend back in the day. Twice LOL, they re-fied with us. Never an issue.

Renting to Family (by Annie [IN]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 6:28 PM

Several years ago we had an empty apartment; our son was relocating with his job, so he moved in. We knew it would be temporary until he could find a suitable place of his own, but in the meantime, he paid rent, paid the utilities and left the place as good as or better than he found it. I guess we raised him right.

There are family members I would rent to, and then there are others that no way in "H E L L" would I let them anywhere near one of our rentals.

You just have to know your family members and their limitations! --104.152.xx.xx

Renting to Family (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Posted on: May 15, 2018 8:33 PM


I remember your post back then.

Some of us tried to warn you.

MY experience with this issue: I warn LLs but they do it anyway then come to me for help.

Is she still in the house? Kinda wondering why you are concerned if she is still renting it. She can bring in guests. Or you can enforce the lease clause about persons staying longer than 14 days.

When you rent to family PERSONS you are actually renting to the entire extended family. The act ripples out over the entire extended family. They are supportive until you try to enforce the rules. They will ALL think you treated him badly.

Iím assuming the $1200 is above his affordability and your method to squeeze him out. Unfortunately this makes you the bad guy at Thanksgiving.

Only rent to people you are willing to evict. For every LL who says No Problem there are 100 LLs who are paying dearly for their kindness.

Iím assuming the $1200 is over his affordability and an effort to get him to leave.


Renting to Family (by Tex [TX]) Posted on: May 16, 2018 6:28 AM

Brad, thanks for the response, always good counsel. Just to clarify. My sister was is being charged $600 well below market, now with her son and family in the unit they will be paying $1200. I figured where else can move into with no security or utility deposits, fully loaded appliance package nice home. My real issue is that the mechanic shop dream has already proven that it cannot support his household or family and his ideal is the just move in with his mom.

Renting to Family (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Posted on: May 16, 2018 8:17 PM


Is $1200 market rate?

Are sis and nephew willing to pay it?

Able to pay it?

If she is used to $600 and he has no money plus kids...


Renting to Family (by Tex [TX]) Posted on: May 17, 2018 8:48 AM

her rent stays the same but charging the kid and his family $600. He just sold the home that they could not afford while he played mechanic businessman. And would not disclose the proceeds of the sell to his mother. Instead of securing a place for his family he rented a stall to work out of and moved into my house with his mom. According to her he has no problem with the $600....will see stay turned

Renting to Family (by Nicole [PA]) Posted on: May 17, 2018 9:26 AM

not to pick but Tex was not set out to be a landlord who rents to family.

Ground rules weren't set up front such as "little sis, this is a 3-bedroom house but you are the only one who may live here ...not your kids or grandkids." I don't mean assumption, I don't mean a lease saying that, I mean a face to face discussion of what will and won't be permitted prior to move in.

The attitude towards the nephew is totally foreign to me. what business was it of yours if he tried to make a go of a service garage and failed? Lots of folks try and fail. That tone has nothing to do with his moving into your place. It's none of her or your business how much he made or didn't make when he sold his home.

Your beef is with your sister. He said "mom, can we move in?" or she volunteered "you can move in". Most people would not to ask the owner of the property.

You are now digging yourself in deeper by having $600 and $600 rent, rather than $1200 owed by the one you rented to ... your sister.

You are mixing too much personal "stuff" into this ... and that is on you, not them. As someone else stated above, it takes a balance but renting to family can be the best thing for many of us. I read about the in home visits (which I think is a really great tool), checking employment, references, etc. With family, you know everything already. You know their work history ... job hoppers can look good on paper and even when verifying you can miss a lot. You know how they keep their house. You know how they handle their relationships. You know their general demeanor and willingness to do what's right in life and if they are a rule follower, an envelope pusher or one who does whatever they want and deal with consequences and fall out later. You know how they handle money. You know if their Christmas tree is still up at Easter. You know if they are a bleeding heart and take in every stray dog & cat that breathes. You know everything. You don't rent to someone just because they are family but when you do rent to family, it should (doesn't always) go perfect because you have a perfect tenant coming in ... because you know everything about them.

Renting to Family (by GKARL [PA]) Posted on: May 17, 2018 11:50 AM

That's an interesting perspective Nicole on family. We do indeed know far more than we would about the average tenant. Where the problems arise is not keeping it business by establishing expectations upfront. We often have expectations, but fail to express them. Family should probably get the same lease you would give any tenant. The lease should be used to set the expectations. More often than not, family tenants create the same issues as any other tenant.

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