On the recent subject of "Unpleasantness" ...

Rec'd a call from my sister's ph# in NJ. I heard a loud, angry fight with lots of smashing going on. She was screaming "this is my house, my yard, you can't do this, I won't allow it!" An angry male (farther away) was screaming back at her with emphasis of bangs and rips and screams. I listened for about 5min not knowing what to do--then the phone just cut off. 2 tries to call her back did not ring/ connect. (What the ??) What to do??

Both her sons work, so at noon on a Tuesday I didn't think they would be home. But she has a boarder/lodger that lives with her and has keys. Or it could have been an intruder, or maybe she was confronting someone doing wrong on her property(selling drugs?)

She has MS and walks with the aid of a walker. If she got thrown down and couldn't get up, she might have laid there for hours till someone came home. Or once down, thieves could strip her house bare. She could be bleeding.

If I called any of her kids or friends to check on the situation I was afraid her personal business would end up all over facebook and the internet. So did what I thought would have the least collateral damage--I called her city police for a "health and safety check."

She told them she was just trying to get her son to help her clean up the yard. But that's NOT what *I* HEARD! Anyway, I am now the bad-guy who called the police on her. But I will shoulder that burden. Its better than having the police coming to my house to give me the sad news she was found dead. I'm still shaking, and heading for my 2nd glass of wine.

You did the right thing! Good going. :)

I remember one time, I was getting home around 11 at night. I hop out of the truck-- and the neighbors across the street are yelling and screaming, with their windows open.

"I JUST WANT TO KILL MYSELF!!!"

"OH YEAH?! MAYBE YOU SHOULD!!!!"

Not that what we say matters but you did, in my book, what was needed. Here's why. If you did nothing and she was hurt or worse, killed, you would be feeling a lot worse than you do right now. People need to be involved.

You did the right thing.

Hopefully it is a one time thing. You don't know the situation directly, though, and it is entirely possible that she is suffering from elder abuse. Since there is now a record of one call, they will check again the next time there is a call, and if a pattern is established, the authorities may take action.

My police friends would much rather make a health and safety check and it be nothing than miss one and have to inform a family member that their loved one was the victim of an attack.

Turned out it wasn't the lodger, it was one of her sons she was fighting with. She called me back,furious. Said she did not call me on purpose, that her phone often calls back the last call if a button is pushed by mistake. It's called 'butt dialing'(?)

LOTF nailed it. My husband is retired from 30 years as a counselor in the mental health system. Anytime someone threatened suicide or made "I just can't take it anymore" vague suicidal threats, the county designated mental health professional (the county employee with the ability to detain people against their will for psych holds) was called. Why? Because the person making suicidal statements was either 1) suicidal or 2) manipulative. If truly suicidal, the needed to be detained for their own protection. If manipulative, they needed to know that this manipulative behavior would not get them what they desired -- and too many fake calls would STILL earn them a trip to the local mental health unit.

Feel free to post this on your FB if your sister causes you grief. She needs to learn to lock the screen on her phone.

Better to be safe than sorry... You got a call, heard threats, called for a check. You did the right thing, anyone of us would probably do that. If she were in a bad situation, you could have saved her life.

Would she have done the same for you if the situation were reversed? I would hope so.

She only has herself to blame for the situation. She was the one who inadvertently called you. She shouldn’t hold you responsible for doing what a normal caring person would do.

She certainly wasn't feeling the love that was intended. Seems like you weighted the situation carefully and responded correctly.

Lynda,

Call the police? Absolutely! But I would have reported an urgent domestic distrubance, not just a welfare check.

Based on what you wrote about what you heard and her reaction, *I* believe you heard a glimpse into what is really going on and she is ashamed. Yes, battered wife syndrome.

Shakspeare said it best “ The lady doth protest too much.”

If this were truly an episode with a normal stubborn teenager shw would have responded with something like. “Teens- whata ya do! I”ll be so glad when he’s grown thru this stage .“

And the police would have simply talked with them and let it go. No biggie.

AND she would have thanked you.

I think you just saw the tip of the hidden iceberg. Something is going on.

Like Sid said, time for extra love.

BRAD

PS I prefer the term Pocket Dialed.

And God works thru technology.

Just sayin.