This topic comes up fairly often here. Now it's happening to me, and I'm really struggling. My good friend of over thirty years will be moving out of a duplex she has been renting for almost that entire period. Duplex sold to an investor who is raising the rent over 40%. She has a son (18) and his GF (18) that live with her. I have a duplex in the same neighborhood (but smaller) that is currently vacant (both sides). She has asked me to rent one side to her, and the other side to the 18 year olds. The 18 year olds have jobs, but I know they won't meet my criteria. The neighborhood can support that 40% increase BTW, so in essence she is asking me to rent to them below market, for starters.

This friend has seen me through some real disasters throughout our friendship. Her son is respectful and honest, don't know about his GF. I feel that if I don't rent to her/them our relationship will change forever, and I don't want that. I also feel that it may change if I DO rent to them, in some aspects. Hey, they're 18, what could possibly go wrong?!!!!!!!

I am willing to rent one side to her, but how do I delicately relate my concerns about the 18 year olds in the other side to her?

They won't meet your criteria as in-- income? credit? stability? length at job?

The duplex has already been advertised for $x/side, right? So your friend already knows that it should rent for, say, $1500/month, and she's asking you to knock the price down to, say, $1000/month as a favor?

I have a house with a garage apartment. When the garage apartment came open in November, the father-in-law of the main house tenant wanted to know if he could rent the apartment. But he couldn't afford the $350... maybe I could consider $200? I told them they were definitely welcome to make a family compound of it, but each unit was at its own price. I ended up renting it to someone else.

Six months later, the main house is pursuing a home in a different school district. I only have one vacancy, and not two to deal with.

I have a little 1/1 that's next door to a checker at the grocery store. She's leaned on me several times about how awesome and convenient it would be for me to rent to her high school daughter, because she "doesn't get along with her mom and really needs her own place." But being a high school student, she can't afford the $350... could I knock it down to $200? My response is usually along the lines of, "She needs to focus on building her life. She doesn't have the income to run a household. It's not fair to set her up for failure like that. I think it's awesome you're being so strong for your granddaughter, and involved in her life. I know she'll be a successful person because of your influence. But it's not nice to rush things faster than their proper time, and expect her to succeed. Let her focus on graduation, on getting a job, on saving up, and then she's definitely welcome to apply in the future."

TGal,

I don't need to read your post. The stories and situation do not matter.

The answer to your subject line is NO. Never.

Money changes a relationship, even a layer deep.

True story: tried renting to the grown son of friends from church. Everything checked out just fine, good job etc. then he married a whack job with four kids. She took his money, we "worked with him ", his bill racked up to $2500, we had to sit in church with his parents and son down the row. Had to evict him – which of course made us very popular with his parents! He did not pay so the judge issued a body attachment which is an arrest warrant, the sheriff deputies were walking around the parents house trying to find the son because that is the address he gave the court, the parents called us very upset that we sent to Sheriff to tromp around their house and arrest ther son. The son got sick with cancer and recently died. Can you imagine where our relationship is with our friends now?

100 people will have stories about renting two friends etc. successfully. But just one going sour can destroy your relationship. Not worth the gamble.

BRAD

Tell them you can not rent below market due to all your

expenses, taxes, insurance ect. That is the first thing

they are already wanting to take advantage of you.

I would not rent to the 18 yr olds as it could be a disaster if they stop paying rent and you need to evict them. Don't do it. Just explain that the rule of thumb

NO. If your relationship changes it's on her. Maybe you can offer to help her find another place? This is the sad problem of resorts and people who don't own the property. Especially places like Tahoe.

No.

The problems you are having now and are small compared to what is likely to happen if they all move in. I suspect if you rent to them, soon you will WISH you only had your current problem.

1 you cant rent to them at that rate as it wont cover your monthly expenses

2 you must apply your rental criteria equally to all applicants or risk being fined

3 you value the friendship too much to risk losing it, but you will help her find other accommodation. As you look for this other accomdation at 40 percent below market, hopefully your friend will begin to realize it doesnt exist and her request of you was unrealistic.

Well, I've noticed that "friends" do take liberties and then get very hostile.

Had to evict in such a case and the girl hired someone to flood the apartment and also removed all light bulbs. Besides calling the cops, charging me with burglary and theft of some gun she claims I had known where it was hidden.

Since you KNOW the boy, I would want to meet the girl and tave a long chat with them. any problems with money or utilities or something? TALK to me!

Would you give them a break (rent, SD)?

Would your friend be the co-signer?

You're making this difficult and for some reason, not seeing the reality. You can't rent to the son and his shackup because they don't meet your rental criteria, period. If you rent to them, you are clearly discriminating. That is illegal.

Just tell your friend this. If she doesn't like it, that's her problem. With luck, she won't want to rent from you because they can't live "next door". Consider yourself lucky if that happens.

If this ruins your "friendship" it wasn't really a friendship now, was it. If she is annoyed or frosty when you tell her you can't rent to the shackups, it is her choice to behave that way.

I rented an apartment to a friends son. The son had never lived on his own and had no credit history. Also he was working his first job with little savings.

I told my friend that his son would crank up the music, have friends come over and party. Drinking as minors would be an issue. Other tenants would move and I'd loose a bunch of money.

The father would guaranty everything and sign any agreement. The lease stated no drinking, no smoking and no drugs. Also no pets.

In this case this kid was incredible. Quite as a Church mouse and paid his rent on time.

Three years later my same friend wanted me to rent an apartment to his daughter. In that case everything went wrong. She rented a two bedroom, one bedroom as an office. Instead she rented a room out to a friend with dogs. The smell and noise was awful. I had to evict the daughter and sue the father who was the co-signer.

We have been renting to our daughter (age 23) and her boyfriend (age 28) for a year and a half. They paid a market rent. Everything has gone great. Their apartment is just across the driveway from us, so we have a little cohousing community. But I am realizing that it will be very hard to raise their rent to keep it at a market level. Would I do it again? Yes, because I like having my daughter live so close. But is it good business? No.

Also, 99.5% of 18-year-olds are not at all ready to take on adult responsibilities. My daughter had already gone through her crazy acting-out period by the time she moved out of our house and into her apartment. She is very financially responsible. Are these 18-year-olds you're considering ready to behave responsibly month after month, year after year?

Deal goes south on one side, you may lose both tenants and the friendship.

In bad times, we rely on friends and family to help us out. "Can't pay for all the fireworks, Christmas gifts or maybe doc bills AND pay rent-- but wait! Friend is my LL, surely she can help!" And you will want to.

Mine is like gevans'

"The company has a firm policy against renting to friends or family. I'd be happy to help you find a god place."

Or

"I'd rather be your friend than your landlord."

I say this with kindness....what kind of "friend" expects you to financially support her kid?

To me, this friendship is already close to falling apart. Blows my mind that after YEARS of you giving them a nice place to live at below market rents they now feel entitled to extend that deal to the kids.

Aside from the obvious illegal discrimination, this sets up a very weird dynamic. I'd have to gently tell them no and limit future contact. My friends want me to be successful...kinda hard to make the case that this is what your friend wants. She wants a subsidy via your cheap rent.

Gevans's response is perfect and eloquent. I usually put it more crudely as 'No. I don't want to be the person that might evict you or hassle you for late rent someday. No friends, no family, no exceptions.'

It is so hard to mix work and friendship without short changing one of them. Is your business relationship worth a 30 year friendship? I am afraid I would rent to either party.

Only rent to family or friends you are willing to waive the cost of rent for.

More thoughts...

The thing that makes a friend a friend, or family a family is GRACE. We let things slide. We don't hold them accountable. We never worry about the $5 we loaned them. We gladly pay for their lunch. We give them gifts. It's not about staying "even".

Without accountability a business will go broke.

The profit after expenses is our Return On Investment.

Most renters don't "see" the investment they simply see a house or apt.

BRAD

NO!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!

We rented to our own daughter who had always had a job, supported her family(single mom)and was ultra responsible. For the first 2 years, she paid her rent on time and ran her household responsibly.

We never in a million years would have expected the least little problem out of her.

Then she found this boyfriend. He is an emotional abuser and manipulative. He insisted that she quit her job, convinced her that we were "ripping her off" by asking for rent since she is our family, and actually convinced her to tell us that she "wants her inheritance now instead of having to wait until we die."

We could not evict her because there are 3 grandchildren involved, who I refuse to allow to become homeless or come to any harm. Besides, she is our daughter and we feared for her in this horrible situation.

We had nothing but heartache for 6 years until she finally saw through him and dumped him.