Wife wants me out (by Todd [OR]) Nov 19, 2009 8:26 PM
Wife wants me out (by IN [IN]) Nov 19, 2009 8:42 PM
Wife wants me out (by AllyM [NJ]) Nov 19, 2009 8:56 PM
Wife wants me out (by Janet [KY]) Nov 19, 2009 9:08 PM
Wife wants me out (by K [MN]) Nov 19, 2009 9:25 PM
Wife wants me out (by MrRational [MD]) Nov 19, 2009 9:46 PM
Wife wants me out (by ManateeAlley [FL]) Nov 19, 2009 11:45 PM
Wife wants me out (by Reid [KS]) Nov 19, 2009 11:49 PM
Wife wants me out (by Hollis [MA]) Nov 20, 2009 3:38 AM
Wife wants me out (by RR [WA]) Nov 20, 2009 3:44 AM
Wife wants me out (by sr [WI]) Nov 20, 2009 4:19 AM
Wife wants me out (by Steve [NJ]) Nov 20, 2009 4:24 AM
Wife wants me out (by x [X]) Nov 20, 2009 4:37 AM
Wife wants me out (by Kelly [CO]) Nov 20, 2009 4:39 AM
Wife wants me out (by TIM [IN]) Nov 20, 2009 4:47 AM
Wife wants me out (by Rose [CA]) Nov 20, 2009 4:53 AM
Wife wants me out (by Red [GA]) Nov 20, 2009 5:40 AM
Wife wants me out (by Dan [FL]) Nov 20, 2009 5:54 AM
Wife wants me out (by Rook [CA]) Nov 20, 2009 6:46 AM
Wife wants me out (by DJ [MA]) Nov 20, 2009 6:53 AM
Wife wants me out (by billy [MA]) Nov 20, 2009 7:07 AM
Wife wants me out (by jawja [GA]) Nov 20, 2009 7:35 AM
Wife wants me out (by June [PA]) Nov 20, 2009 7:42 AM
Wife wants me out (by Gloria [TN]) Nov 20, 2009 7:49 AM
Wife wants me out (by MJ (model) [MI]) Nov 20, 2009 8:17 AM
Wife wants me out (by SAM [OR]) Nov 20, 2009 12:58 PM
Wife wants me out (by phil [NY]) Nov 20, 2009 12:59 PM
Wife wants me out (by DJ [MA]) Nov 20, 2009 1:21 PM
Wife wants me out (by Mike45 [NV]) Nov 20, 2009 1:28 PM
Wife wants me out (by spf [NC]) Nov 20, 2009 1:56 PM
Wife wants me out (by Mike45 [NV]) Nov 20, 2009 5:08 PM
Wife wants me out (by Joe [IL]) Nov 20, 2009 7:42 PM
Wife wants me out (by Hollis [MA]) Nov 21, 2009 5:46 AM
Wife wants me out (by sf [SD]) Nov 21, 2009 8:45 AM
Wife wants me out (by Katherine [TX]) Nov 28, 2009 10:20 AM
Wife wants me out (by Todd [OR]) Posted on: Nov 19, 2009 8:26 PM Message:
State Specific Question About: OREGON (OR)
Hi All - Got a question. Long story short, found out that wife has a boyfriend, she said she isnt going to leave the family home. I cant live in the same house knowing she is out having an affair, so I have to leave.
I want to move into one of my rental units, but everything is leased out to the end of next year. I have a really nice class A duplex (old four square house conversion) which is perfect for me, but how do I break the existing lease? What reason would you give, and is it legal to evict a tenant (and break a lease) because you (the owner) needs a place to live? --24.20.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by IN [IN]) Posted on: Nov 19, 2009 8:42 PM Message:
When you can't get along so long...
When you move out he will move in, so hey just let her move out...he has already moved in... --67.163.xx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by AllyM [NJ]) Posted on: Nov 19, 2009 8:56 PM Message:
Gee, this is terrible especially right before Christmas. I don't think you can break a lease. It is a contract and people make them to avoid situations like this.
Do you know any landlords who have a rental open who might like you to manage since you are experienced?
You might want to look for a room mate situation possibly. There might be a way to prevent the boyfriend from coming into your house and then you can stay there. I'm not sure. Maybe restraining order? Have you found a lawyer yet? In a situation like this sometimes it's better to have a female lawyer. --76.99.xxx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by Janet [KY]) Posted on: Nov 19, 2009 9:08 PM Message:
A friend of mine found his wife having an affair and told HER to get out and the only thing she was allowed to take with her was the clothes she owned. Play hard ball with her and make her move. --74.236.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by K [MN]) Posted on: Nov 19, 2009 9:25 PM Message:
The lessor and lessee can agree to terminate the lease at anytime. You are willing to terminate the lease. Now you have to figure out how to motivate the lessee. Money usually works.
--24.159.xxx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by MrRational [MD]) Posted on: Nov 19, 2009 9:46 PM Message:
what K said.
you give in on this and it will never end.
--65.127.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by ManateeAlley [FL]) Posted on: Nov 19, 2009 11:45 PM Message:
Walk around the house naked, leave the seat up, invite your buddies over for ALL the games and never vacuum, leave open copies of Maxim and Playboy to some really hot centerfolds (as comparison) so she can see how she stacks up. Eat groceries from the fridge (but never buy any) and most important, tell her she gave you an STD...She'll be moving out long before your tenant. --66.176.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Reid [KS]) Posted on: Nov 19, 2009 11:49 PM Message:
You need to get to A lawyer Get her out and start to protect your stuff which you may well Lose half or more of. --70.248.xx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by Hollis [MA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 3:38 AM Message:
Not sure why its any advantage to move into one of your units. If they are at fair market price you are getting income from that unit. Why not seek a similar unit that you pay the same amount. Its a washout,..unless for now you can accept a smaller/cheaper place then you are ahead moneywise.
I see this all the time near my childhood family home which I purchased. Its on a lake and considered a great vacation destination. Yes I could occupy it during the nice weather vacation season, but in doing so I lose the big bucks that it commands during that time. So if ever I want to take a break and "vacation" there. I collect their rent and rent from someone else. (My place is is rented by the season) I only will take a week off and I don't want to vacation there every year,..
I call the LL if there is anything wrong during my week,..
I used to think when I was younger that I should "buy" a place at every beautiful place I would visit. I almost did in the tropics at a place I love to go. Yes,.. I would go there a few weeks and rent it at other times.
Then I realized I would give up thousands in rent, that what it would cost me to occupy my space in lost rent,..so now I just pay someone else that lives down there and don't have the headaches of the upkeep, battling with local authorities/taxes etc. and invest my spare monies elsewhere and I'm sure I'm ahead. --71.161.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by RR [WA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 3:44 AM Message:
That's good advice Hollis
Todd, sorry to hear about your wife. Step back , clear the mind, and take a little time to figure this out before you decide. Consult with trusted friends/family. --98.247.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by sr [WI]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 4:19 AM Message:
Todd, I'm really, really sorry to hear this news. You must be devistated. Two things can happen -- you can get divorced or you can work through this... Either way -- i'd consult w/ an attorney just to cover your butt. 2nd thing you need to do is talk to your wife.... see where the two of you stand... how do you both feel... remember beneath anger is usually always hurt.
As horrible as it is right not -- all may not be lost.
Yes, cheating is a terrible thing, but you have to figure out -- was it a mistake and a one time thing (meaning will she cheat again)??? do you and your wife have enough good in your relationship to stay together... can you forgive her... notice i did not say forget, because you never will... however sometimes you can get past hurt of an affair..
Believe it or not -- you can learn to trust the other person again -- it takes time and is gradual, but it is very possible.
usually when one or the other is cheating -- they are missing something in their relationwhip with each other -- if you can figure that out and put it in your marriage -- then there's no reason to cheat.
Todd -- I've been married twice. The first time, I thought life should be a bed of roses and everything perfect... boy was I wrong. (lasted 2 years) The second time, I have been able to withstand storms I never thought I could.. my husband is not perfect and i am not perfect -- we have both made mistakes over the years (we've been together since 1983) and as long as we could look at them and know they were mistakes and were not going to continue, we were able to forgive each other.
Now do not get me wrong....it's another thing if one of us doesnt have enough respect for the other and would continue cheating -- the other would be out the door in a flash.. neither of us is a doormat!
Take some time... Think this through...
Know that you have the support and empathy from the people on this board...
Do some things to take care of you right now.. you're stress level is going to be very high.. perhaps.. get a massage.. or exercise.. and tipping the beer bottle does not count! Seriously - know that we are thinking about you... let us know how it is going..
sr --71.82.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Steve [NJ]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 4:24 AM Message:
Thats funny. I just filed for divorce on my wife and she put a restraining order on me and had me out. I'm in a hotel room right now looking for a new apartment because all of my rentals are full. --208.54.xx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by x [X]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 4:37 AM Message:
File FIRST. You make the demands and let them reply.
Sue him. --98.77.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Kelly [CO]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 4:39 AM Message:
Todd she has the boyfriend and she wants you out? Is the boyfriend homeless? Unless you do something stupid like hitting her or him, you should have the right to stay in your home. Do you have a female friend that could visit you?
That is really really bad advise, but I guess I'm just not a nice person. --97.122.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by TIM [IN]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 4:47 AM Message:
Kick HER butt out. She can live with her new boyfriend.
On a side note: got new renter moving in today in the same situation. He came home one day last week. Unknown car sitting in the driveway. Walks in, heads towards the bedroom. yep, another man and his wife going to town. He stood there, shook his head, and just walked out. She came running after him naked, trying to get him to stay. He said "nope, I'm out of here. You will have the papers next week. I'm done."
Once someone cheats or you lose that trust, it will eat away at you forever. --67.236.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Rose [CA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 4:53 AM Message:
You need to start giving her back some of her own stuff. Tell her you are making arrangements to move into one of your units. Then go and talk to an attorney asap and get an order for her to move out. Unless there are children involved and they need to stay in the family home?
If you really want to move into one of your units offer money to them to move and break the lease. Otherwise just go and get an apt or house to rent and do NOT sign a lease.
One more reason to never do leases! --74.42.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Red [GA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 5:40 AM Message:
Todd and Steve,
sorry about your marital issues.
Todd,
you need to see a divorce atty today. They are going to know how the courts are going to treat the situation. Obviously it is unfair for her to cheat and get the house, but our court system is not always known for making sensible decisions. --65.12.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Dan [FL]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 5:54 AM Message:
Been there,done that..I been cheated on by 3 women over the years.I tend to date the model types.I gave the last one another chance and we went and got help. All was fine and 11 months later she did it again.
Most of the time the old saying" once a cheater always a cheater" is true.
Move out a get some calm,the stress of being in the same space with her can kill you in more ways then one.
Your a lucky man that you found out now. Don't waste anymore of your life on her. There are good women out there that will treat you right and not cheat.
I find that very few people change who they are.You either cheat or you don't no matter how bad things are. If I'm not happy with someone I leave first before looking for someone else. --71.98.xxx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by Rook [CA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 6:46 AM Message:
Todd, get an attorney. Everything in a divorce is negotiable. You move out IF she agrees to
(fill in the blank). A divorce attorney can guide you down this path so you come out as whole as possible. --68.123.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by DJ [MA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 6:53 AM Message:
Todd hate to say this but your wife is acting like a tenant. She is trying to make demands and tell you what she is going to do. Altough its easy to to make a decision with our tenants its difficult to make the decision with the ones close to us. Don't move out if you can avoid it. As stated before as soon as you do the new boyfriend will move in. The issue is at that point either your wife and/or the boyfriend will think they have the upper hand. Tell her you are not moving. If she wants a boyfriend and wants to cheat then her boyfriend should provide the roof over their heads. Sorry you have to go through it. --205.156.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by billy [MA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 7:07 AM Message:
sorry about your problem.i wouldnt get too close to the tennies.maybe rent another apt.happened to a colleague.but he cheated first.then she cheated.then boyfriend moved in with her.get a female atty who does these things.i think u should get out before someone gets hurt.a colleague came home to a big surprise with his wife and killed the boyfriend.these things can get nasty.best wishes Todd. --208.58.x.xx |
Wife wants me out (by jawja [GA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 7:35 AM Message:
Todd,
I'm really sorry this has happened to you and your wife. She is smart to demand the house, but might not have that right. Obviously finances will affect this all. You also did not mention if there are children involved. If not, there is no reason at all to give her the house.
Do not move out a good tenant to live in your own place - if one of you must move, stay away from your rentals while they are well leased (esp. during the winter) and try to get a separate place - at least for now. Find a LL w/ a hard-to-fill vacancy (it's Dec already1) and make a deal for a short-term arrangement till you have time to assess your situation with a lawyer and your wife - after you get some distance. In a few weeks or months, maybe you'll decide that property is right for you and you can decide to move. If all your tenants are happy and you do want to move, make an offer to them all for a bit of money to give up the place. You do NOT want to evict one tenant and risk the others not wanting to live near you or having hard feelings about what you did to the first - it could cause another vacancy.
I agree w/ Red, SR and DJ. Don't commit to anything or leave before speaking to an atty. And don't take the first atty you speak with - interview 2-3 before you grab one. My nieghbor chose an atty who did NOT do her best for her client. you don't want that to happen.
And please find people who love and appreciate you (your parents?) and spend Thanksgiving with them.
good luck. --66.56.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by June [PA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 7:42 AM Message:
Todd didn't say his wife wants him out. He said that HE doesn't want to stay because she's cheating.
Todd--Don't compound the felony: Take one of the rooms in your house for yourself. Why should YOU be the one who has to leave?
And definitely the boyfriend should NOT be allowed in your home. Get a restraining order.
I offer you my sympathies. Don't really understand why some people cannot honor a commitment.
Meanwhile, Take the high ground. --64.12.xxx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by Gloria [TN]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 7:49 AM Message:
Todd, very sorry to hear about this. It would make me so mad, I would never give her the house but would put my feet up on the coffee table, turn the tv up, and have a beer (or whatever). Make her move, she is the cheater. --71.87.xxx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by MJ (model) [MI]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 8:17 AM Message:
"I tend to date the model types."
Don't see your photo on the photo page?
I might pay you a visit if your photo passes my first test. :) --71.227.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by SAM [OR]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 12:58 PM Message:
Reccomend consulting with an attorney, sounds like she may have already.
At this point you need to protect yourself.
Don't move out yet, but stay with a friend for a few days and cool off, so you don't end up in jail. See an attorney as to how to proceed.
Good Luck, your gonna need it --75.216.xxx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by phil [NY]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 12:59 PM Message:
Beware if you freely move out of the material home you may not be allowed back into the home during the divorce proceedings, will have to pay the bills for the material home and absent children involved there is nothing you can do to stop the boyfriend at that point from enjoying the material home with your soon to be ex
Consult a lawyer before you do anything
--205.188.xxx.xx |
Wife wants me out (by DJ [MA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 1:21 PM Message:
After reading some of these a thought crossed my mind. Don't move out. If you move out then later come back, she may use that as a chance to call the police and you will have TRO on you so fast you wont know what happened. Not sure how vindictive she is trying to be but if she is stating that she is not moving then she's ready to put up a fight. --205.156.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Mike45 [NV]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 1:28 PM Message:
Lots of people have given the same great piece of advice: see a divorce attorney asap. See a couple of them. Three or four of them. Find the one who meets your needs -- emotional and economic -- and who sahres your philosophy (fight like a tiger, peace at any price, ...).
Do NOT move out yet. Not until you speak to your attorney and get his advice.
Warning: In CA [I don't know about OR], it is pretty much the rule that you cannot kick her out and she cannot kick you out without domestic violence. But there is nothing that I know of to keep her from calling the cops and lying, completely fabricating a story of domestic violence. I know one woman who slammed a door on her arm and again into her face to created bruises and blood for the cops. I don't know how to protect yourself against this kind of set-up.
Get a good attorney immediately!
Hollis's advice ("Not sure why its any advantage to move into one of your units. If they are at fair market price you are getting income from that unit. Why not seek a similar unit that you pay the same amount. Its a washout,") was poor -- because of taxes, it is NOY a washout. The rent you collect is taxable; the rent you pay is NOT deductible. So if you get a tenant to vacate, and you move in, there is a tax savings of maybe 25 - 40%.
--216.175.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by spf [NC]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 1:56 PM Message:
Do not leave without first consulting a lawyer! Trust me on this. If you leave she could turn around and claim you abandoned her and your jointly owned home. If you leave you are giving her all the power. Now I know the laws are different in each state, but when I got my divorce in NJ many years ago, this is what my lawyer told me. Double check with your own lawyer before moving out. Do everything you can to protect yourself and your assets should she decide to get ugly, which very often happens when there is a third party involved who has the ear of one of the spouses. Been there, done that and seen many a friend through similar.
Tell her you have thought about it and if she wants to end it and continue sleeping around, then she needs to go. Suggest she move in with her boyfriend since you are not leaving the home. If she is unwilling to leave, then offer her a guest room or the sofa until the lawyers hammer out a settlement agreement. You shouldn't have to give up your comfort because she was too much of a coward to end the relationship responsibly and with respect before getting involved with another man. The situation you are in is unpleasant and difficult, I'm sorry you are having to deal with it, but whatever you do try to remain calm and detached. I know it hurts like hell to learn of a spouse's cheating, but keep it together until it is over or she can and will use anything you say against you in court.
Find a lawyer and, if possible, file first on grounds of adultery. If you file first and get her on the adultery, you have a far better chance of a fair settlement than if she files first and makes whatever claims she may make. She's already made it clear she wants the house. If there are kids still at home, odds are she will get the house until they are grown if she gets primary custody. If there are no kids, or they are grown, then I'd fight for the house or insist it be sold and proceeds split. Sorry, but that is just me because I can't stand a cheater and don't believe in rewarding that kind of behavior.
Best of luck. --12.76.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Mike45 [NV]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 5:08 PM Message:
There are several mental stages the adulter normally goes through. Remorse and guilt are an early stage, and youcan sometimes negotiate a good deal then.
Guilt turns into self-justification. Try to settle completely before this happens, because if you think she is a bit@@ now, well, ...!
--216.175.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Joe [IL]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2009 7:42 PM Message:
What a bunch of bores, it's no wonder the little ladies run to me (tall,dark, & hansom they calls me) for a little fun and relaxation.
I once invited an aquaintance to join me with a couple of hotties, his reply was "no thanks" ive got more at home than i can handle now, so i replied to him well lets go to your house. :>) --71.227.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Hollis [MA]) Posted on: Nov 21, 2009 5:46 AM Message:
Mike45
Well,..."yeabut",...what is the real money amt in tax savings from one unit?
#1 From old posts here I see that many LL arrange their lives not to pay much income tax on their rentals using legal strategies.
#2 More importanly, at this time of more stress than I want,..I wouldn't want to scurry around trying to get a good paying tenant out, waiting for the time I have to give them,.paying to break a lease which I would guess wouldn't be cheap.
He does need to talk to an attorney but not to just an attorney but to find one that is called a "gun".in the field . years ago I found one by asking several attorneys that I know who were NOT ones that would handle a divorce because they know from their legal communities who are noted for this. Often they have had to use them. He/she may not want him, based upon state laws to give up the possession of his house by moving out. Finding a temp place to stay but not change residence.
IF I NEEDED more tax deductions,..I might find a an appropriate rental and make sure a GOOD portion of it is used ,within IRS guidelines as my office. A record room, a computer room, a desk and file room,..Take pics and make sure that you make sure that according to the IRS it is used exclusively for that purpose,..not that they ever check but they need to know that if you are asked. No you can use it to read a book according to them, watch TV. as far as they are concerned.
I wouldn't want to move into ANY of my units. The last thing I want is my tenants as my neighbors. Besides I don't want them to be involved in any of the drama of my life, which they would be if they found out I lived there now. --71.161.xxx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by sf [SD]) Posted on: Nov 21, 2009 8:45 AM Message:
If you leave the marital home she can claim you abandoned her. You would have to have proof from a P.I. prior to your moving that it was because of adultry.
As a matter of fact, a private investigator wouldn't be a bad idea in addition to a top gun attorney. --70.189.xx.xxx |
Wife wants me out (by Katherine [TX]) Posted on: Nov 28, 2009 10:20 AM Message:
Todd, sorry this is happening to you.
DO NOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL BEFORE SPEAKING TO AN EXPERIENCED DIVORDE ATTY.
You are going to have to have to guts to do this step BEFORE moving out or anything else. Obviously you are hurting a great deal, but you must stay the course until you can get some good advice specific too your state, county and jurisdiction.
As far as the rest, only you and your spouse know the details of your marraige. Only ya'll can decide how things go from here, and how you got here in the first place.
May God grant you grace and wisdom is your distress, and GO SEE THAT ATTY on MONDAY! --69.150.xx.xx |
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